There's something about old men, nudity and locker rooms. I don't know what it is. It cannot be explained.

I was at the Y
the other day getting ready to go swimming when I accidentally noticed
a naked old man. This is nothing new...naked, I mean...or old. But
this time it was too much. Way too much.

He had his back to the locker room, foot on a chair and was bent over clipping his toenails. My eyes! My eyes!

Are they
completely oblivious to the rest of the world? Do they really no
longer care? Is that even possible? It's a very difficult concept for
me to grasp. How can a person possibly get to a point in their life
where they either don't notice or don't care that everyone in the
locker room just got a glimpse of their tailpipe?

This had me thinking: maybe they truly do not realize what they're doing, so I came up with a good rule of thumb. If you're in a locker room - or
let's say, public - and you're in a position where someone else can see
the back of your boys, you're doing something that requires underwear.
It's that simple. Put your underwear on, THEN clip your toenails.

Or better yet, put your underwear on and clip your toenails at home.

More artwork by Courtney. She had a hard time drawing hair on my head
so I put my watermelon helmet on. I'm not crying, my eyes are bleeding....
and the actual toenail may have been green like the one in the picture.

A few months ago I was in the locker room changing into my swimsuit. There was a naked, old man sitting on a towel on the bench clipping his
toenails. Little white elephant tusks flinging around the locker
room...disgusting. Then he slipped on his underwear and stood up to
pull them up and the towel he was sitting on was stuck between his
cheeks. He was attempting to grab the towel to free it from his butt,
but he couldn't reach and with his underwear around his knees I was
afraid he may fall. What I saw was a man in need and a situation I
wanted no part of. I've never changed and exited a locker room so

When I swam at the high school, there was a chubby, little kid that used to eat pretzels in the shower (I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's
true). Have you ever seen a bloated, water-soaked pretzel sitting on
the shower floor? It's pretty disgusting, but not as bad as a
bent-over naked old man. I'm pretty sure switching to the Y was a step
in the wrong direction. If only the hours at the high school were as
good as the Y. If only....

My blog: http://ironmike08.blogspot.com

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Comment by Sarah McCoy on March 1, 2010 at 11:49am
Gentlemen...we too run into the aging beauties in our (women) locker rooms as well. However, remember you only have one thing to worry about covering...not to be crude but women have three...two saggy breasts you can put a belt around mid way and the belt is still above the waist the nipples below the waist. Don't even let me start on the lower part....OMG!!!!! All I can say is LAWNMOWER!!!! :)
Comment by Robert Key on March 1, 2010 at 11:03am
I'm going to rate this as the funniest post I've ever read on this site! Hilarious! This really hits home for me because I just got back from my swim and workout at the YMCA and I can completely relate to all of this. The one that creeps me out the most is a guy who is probably in his 40's who spends WAY TOO MUCH time in the shower and it would take an idiot not to realize he's in there to watch everybody. I completely avoid the showers while he is in there. This guy has even gone so far as to be doing stretches in the narrow entryway into the main shower area where he is completely bent over touching his toes (naked) and people have to walk around him.
Comment by Roger Thrall on March 1, 2010 at 11:00am
taht si so funny ......but sadly true
Comment by Jim Ristow on March 1, 2010 at 9:57am
You hit on two things I don't understand also. I notice the same two things at my club. Do women run into the same problem in their locker room? I don't think so (at least according to my wife.) In fact she has told me they mostly run into the stalls to change and heaven forbid they clip their toe nails. Men, please put a towel around the junk area. You know who you are. In most cases one towel isn't enough, tie two of them together if you have to. As far as the toe/finger nail thing, this also should be done in the comfort of your home. I not only see/hear it in the locker room (bad enough), but at the mall, airport and yes even restaruants! Yuck.
Comment by Scott Legere on March 1, 2010 at 9:28am
That was great!

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