Okay, so I have some whining to do. I'm hoping I'm not the only one...
Dear dude on the treadmill next to me today.
1. Axe body spray in copious amounts is not recommended before your workout. It does not work like a magnet for the chicks to your "manliness." Please reconsider before you have to start purchasing gas masks for the people around you.
2. The aforementioned axe body spray does not hide the fact that you are not wearing deodorant. Yes it's gross. Yes, you need it. Please reconsider before you come back to the gym.
3. Sharting is real. Yes, I can tell you did it. No, the previously mentioned axe body spray and lack of deodorant does not hide that you (a) failed to wipe your bottom, or (b) lifted so much weight before coming over to the treadmills that you are now experiencing anal leakage.
The tears in my eyes have nothing to do with the fact that I'm so grateful that an Adonis like you had the time to run on a treadmill next to me in what you must still think is a meat market. It has more to do with the dry heaves that your 'fragrance' has sent me into. Frankly, I get to see people that look way better than you, and take fitness (and, to be honest, personal hygiene as well) much more seriously than you on a regular basis, but thanks again for the compliment you paid me by running on the treadmill next to the only other occupied one in the joint. I'll remember that when I see (and attempt to avoid) you in the future.
No please, stay where you were, I'll find another treadmill.
Yes, it really was that bad. I started dry heaving within 30 seconds of his arrival. Good thing I was almost at the end of my workout. If you made it this far, thanks for reading.
How ironic, that while reading your rant, the pop-up ad on the right side of this page was for Old Spice deodorant. Good thing Goggle isn't tracking "sharting", who knows what would have shown up.
More incentive to workout outdoors! That said, When I have to go to the gym, I am always grateful for ear buds. I'm not here to discuss politics or religion (or anything else for that matter). I don't care how much you can bench although I'm sure it comes in handy when you need to move a couch. Speaking of couches, if your not using that piece of equipment get the hell off it. It's not a couch and don't forget to disinfect it in the event that you "sharted".
Thanks for the Countdown Clock!
How terrible Rachel! I prefer running in sub-zero temperatures than on a dready any day - even more so if I had to put up with the stinky dude at your gym. Look at the experience as 'building mental toughness for race day!' :-)
Hilarious...The Raceday Crew is on the ground laughing right now.
LOL!!! Rachel, this is hilarious... Yet, somehow, I think it is so completely true. I live near a military base and almost never step foot into a gym on the base because of stories like you experienced. YUCKY!!
Rachel I couldn't help but think of your post today. I went to the gym (17F outside). Several of the treadmills were down for some reason. An elderly women got on the treadmill next to me. I don't like perfume. As a health care professional you know that the sense of smell is the 1st to go. She was wearing her best velour sweatsuit with matching turtleneck and fur lined snow boots. She also dumped a gallon of old lady perfume on herself and began to walk next to me. There was also a fan on blowing the stink into me. It was so overwhelming I had to get off and do something else. It was hours before I got the smell out of my nostrils. I'd rather swim 2.4 miles of vomit, bike 112 miles with a GI bleed and run 26.2 with anal leakage. I feel your pain.
So eloquently stated Anthony!
By the way it was -11 here yesterday.... 17F sounds quite nice actually.
-11? That's what stationary bikes & treadmills were made for! You deserve a handicap just for being in IM shape by May. Best wishes. I'll recognize you at the swim start because you will be the only one with paler skin than me!